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An Epic Empire Avenue Battle of Wits and Twits

by THE INFLUENCIER on September 25, 2010 •  7 comments

The Dragon's Tournament on Empire Avenue. It's Hot!Today, the Dragon’s Tournament, an epic battle of wits and twits, er, I mean tweets, has been raging amongst members of The Dragon’s Cave — the hottest personal community on Empire Avenue. The Flaming Dragon (e)SLEEP, current share price leader and Queen of Da Cave, is holding the contest in order to find a knight worthy of serving by her side as King of Da Cave. Earlier this evening, the final feat of bravery, wit and cunning was announced by (e)SLEEP and is now underway.

Competitors and spectators have gathered from across the globe to witness and participate in the challenge, including Jordan Hodges (e)JORDNH, Jitesh Panchal (e)UNS33N, Olivier Lussier (e)OL, Gina Montana (e)21GUNS, Bill Sellers (e)BILL, Darcy Kiernan (e)SCUBA, Olivier Gagnon (e)GAGNON, Allie Wojtaszek (e)ALLIE, Lyne Robichaud (e)PAPIER, Adriel Hampton (e)ADRIEL and the evil Kyle Giesbrecht (e)DOOD.

Like a wandering minstrel of yore, THE INFLUENCIER now offers a musical tribute to the valiant participants in this noble quest.

The tune should be a familiar one to young and old. To perform, sing the Emipire Avenue eaves symbol symbol just like it sounds, like the long “e” sound in the word “free.” You know, the word “free” as in “beer.” You know, the word “beer” as in what Hudsons Canadian Tap House (e)CDN serves and what Mark Suits (e)BRWGUY of the Edmonton Journal (e)EJ blogs about. That “e” sound. Got it? Great. Let’s get started, shall we?

SLEEP The Flaming Dragon

Flaming Dragon SLEEP on Empire Avenue

SLEEP, the flaming dragon lived in Da Cave
and frolicked with (e)DARING, a knight so strong and brave.
Little Lyne (e)PAPIER loved that Dragon’s sleeves
and brought her strings and ceiling wax and Jordan Hodges’ eaves.

SLEEP the flaming dragon lived in Da Cave
and frolicked with (e)DARING a knight so strong and brave
SLEEP the flaming dragon lived in Da Cave
and frolicked with (e)DARING a knight so strong and brave!

Together they would tango On A Goat! with billowed sails
flapping wings and burning things While SLEEP seduced some males.
Jitesh, Bill and Gagnon would bow whene’er they came
(e)SCUBA’s suit would melt away when SLEEP let out her flame. Oh!

SLEEP, the flaming dragon lived in Da Cave,
and frolicked with (e)DARING a knight so strong and brave!
SLEEP the flaming dragon lived in Da Cave,
and frolicked with (e)DARING a knight so strong and brave!

Then there was one Kyle, a Slayer named (e)DOOD
Slaying goats other things, to turn them into food.
He swore an oath to kill them, the knights and Dragon too.
And SLEEP that Flaming Dragon, did not know what to do.

First she tried seducing, with her mortal charms
Then she sought (e)ADRIEL, the Cave Sergeant-at-Arms,
A tourney was suggested, to find the bravest knight
A hero who could best them all, and slay (e)DOOD on sight! Oh,

SLEEP, the flaming dragon lived in Da Cave
and frolicked with (e)DARING a knight so strong and brave,
SLEEP the flaming dragon lived in Da Cave
and frolicked with (e)DARING a knight so strong and brave.

And so she held a tourney, to see who would do well
With Allie and the other boys (despite their nasty smell).
Who would be the victor, who would be most brave?
Who would be the new hot king, crowned inside the Cave? Oh,

SLEEP, the flaming dragon lived in Da Cave
and frolicked with (e)DARING a knight so strong and brave,
SLEEP the flaming dragon lived in Da Cave
and frolicked with (e)DARING a knight so strong and brave!

(Editor’s Note: Now that’s hot!)

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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Flaming_DragonTicker: September 25, 2010 at 10:32 pm

Oh would you be (e)DARING enough to be thy King … the Dragon is in flames!

Adriel HamptonTicker: September 26, 2010 at 12:13 am

Doug, you are a flaming genius 😉

THE INFLUENCIERTicker: September 26, 2010 at 7:48 pm

Thanks Adriel. Empire Avenue should have an achievement called “Shameless Promotion of Others in an Effort to Boost Blog Readership” I could earn that one in faster than you could say (e)PURPLE (e)MONKEY (e)MIX (e)MASTER. (P.S. I would have gone with “Purple Monkey Dishwasher,” but nobody has signed as DISH or WASHER, yet).

BigbonedGamerTicker: September 26, 2010 at 10:51 pm

Woah thats what i missed the other night.. Good going (e)Daring.. 😀

Ranger BobTicker: October 3, 2010 at 5:40 pm

My money is on: Jordan Hodges (e)JORDNH

Ranger BobTicker: October 3, 2010 at 5:42 pm

Oh yeah, my ticker is not (e)LAT anymore, it’s (e)RANGER. #justsaying Not sure how your website got that info, but it’s incorrect. =)

THE INFLUENCIERTicker: October 3, 2010 at 6:20 pm

Hey Lance, I updated your in the database so it should appear correct throughout the site from now on. FYI to whoever’s reading this, if you change your ticker on Empire Avenue, and then you post a comment on THE INFLUENCIER, you’ll need to enter your new ticker in the little box below to update the database for this blog.

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Influence is an extraordinary tool. What will you do with it? The Influencier