THE VAULT

The VaultShares locked in THE VAULT are the Limited Edition Collector’s Versions purchased on the open market when they were first available on Empire Avenue. Rare and much sought after, these shares are the crown jewels in any discriminating Empire Avenue Investor’s portfolio.

Similar in nature to a fine wine or an exquisite scotch whiskey, Empire Avenue Limited Edition shares become all the more rare and valuable as they age. As such, vintage shares in THE VAULT are displayed in the order of purchase with the oldest, rarest holdings appearing at the top and the newer, more recent purchases listed at the bottom.

Much like the Disney Company*, THE INFLUENCIER occasionally opens THE VAULT and places these stocks up for sale to the general public during limited time special events. Investors interested in acquiring these shares should watch for the Twitters hashtag #eaVault.

The Limited Edition Collector’s Version shares are provided with a Provenance detailing a Certified History of Ownership, a Certificate of Authenticity, a Wax Seal of Verified Certainty, an AKC Pedigree, an Affidavit of Guaranteed Certification of Authentic Veracity,  and often times a set of Commemorative Plates** encrusted with unicorns, rubies, and other sparkly things.

Right Column 1

POOKA Stock Certificate #17,500
Purchased June 22nd, 2010
Purchase Price: e57.777

COREYT Stock Certificate #10,000
Purchased July 19, 2010
Purchase Price: e39.521

DREVIL Stock Certificate #10,000
Purchased July 22, 2010
Purchase Price: e37.238

WRITER Stock Certificate #10,000
Purchased July 31, 2010
Purchase Price: e53.521

Middle Column 2

MILLER Stock Certificate #12,500
Purchased June 22nd, 2010
Purchase Price: e40.834

POWER Stock Certificate #10,000
Purchased July 19, 2010
Purchase Price: e33.056

CLATKO Stock Certificate #10,000
Purchased July 28, 2010
Purchase Price: e77.145

Left Column 3

HMMM Stock Certificate #10,000
Purchased July 18, 2010
Purchase Price: e3.786

MHIP Stock Certificate #10,000
Purchased July 20, 2010
Purchase Price: e38.231

ADRIEL Stock Certificate #10,000
Purchased July 24, 2010
Purchase Price: e78.217

Bottom Column 4

* Only without the rodent problem. Apparently we use better mousetraps.
** Limited Quantities. While supplies last. Only available in “Round.”

Recent Posts From THE VAULT

Influencier Alert: (e)WRITER now in THE VAULT

by THE INFLUENCIER on July 31, 2010 •  7 comments

Empire Avenue Limited Edition 17,500th Share of WRITERTHE 17,500th Share of Brent Knowles (e)WRITER has been added to THE VAULT. The story of how THE INFLUENCIER acquired this exquisite limited edition share is quite the yarn, filled with drama & intrigue, heroes & villains, and action & adventure at every turn. It is a tale that begs the telling…

Chapter I:

IT WAS the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the season of Light, it was the season of (e)DARKness, it was the (e)SPRING of hope, it was the winter of despair, with the advent of DUBLIN we had everything before us, and with the rumors of ERINDALE, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way. [Intrigued? Read More…]

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Influencier Alert: Extra Security Added To Vault

by THE INFLUENCIER on July 22, 2010 •  3 comments

DREVIL Empire Avenue Stock Certificate #10,000INFLUENCIER ALERT: The collection of Limited Edition Collector’s Shares under THE INFLUENCIER‘s control continues to grow with the recent addition of the 10,00th share of Robert Wright, or as he is more commonly known, the dastardly evil (e)DREVIL. Little is known about this menacing misanthrope, other than he is reportedly a member of the DeathEaters Community on Empire Avenue. Rumor has it that he and his henchman are using their influence on Empire Avenue to amass wealth and power to build some sort of empire. When asked what kind of empire he plans on building, (e)DREVIL simply replied,

“What kind of empire? Why, the eeeeeeeeeeeeevvvvvvvviiiiiiiiillllllll Empire! Muhahahahahahahahaahhahahahaahahahaha!”

Due the extremely dangerous nature of (e)DREVIL and to ensure the safety and security of all of the holdings within THE VAULT,  extra precautions have been taken. While the total extent of which additional security protocols have been enacted cannot be discussed, THE INFLUENCIER does feel comfortable in revealing the following, in the hopes of discouraging any attempts to breach the integrity of THE VAULT.

ADDITIONAL (BUT NOT ALL) VAULT SECURITY MEASURES

  • Shark-mounted Lasers
  • Laser-guided Attack Monkeys
  • Laser-guided Attack Monkeys mounted to lasers that are mounted to Sharks.
  • Switched the “Welcome Mat” in front of vault  door with verrrrrrry sticky double-sided tape.
  • A verrrrrry frightening Scarecrow.
  • A verrrrrry frightening Scarecrow which will burst into flames at random intervals and cackle loudly.
  • A Scarecrow with a laser. Very frightening.
  • A kitten. (Everybody loves kittens. Should distract would-be robber long enough for authorities to arrive).
  • A sign that says, “Beware of Sharks and Monkeys. And Scarecrows.”
  • A sign that says, “Have you seen the kitten?” with arrow pointing to the kitten.

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Influencier Alert: 10,000th MHIP Now In Vault

by THE INFLUENCIER on July 21, 2010 •  comment

MHIP Stock Certificate #10,000INFLUENCIER ALERT: Another Limited Edition Share has been added to THE VAULT. The 10,000th share of Mario Hipol, one of the top performers on the Earnings Leaderboard, is now locked away for the forseeable future. This aquisition brings the total number of these rare collectibles under the control of THE INFLUENCIER to six in all. Mario Hipol is traded on Empire Avenue as (e)MHIP.

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Influence is an extraordinary tool. What will you do with it? The Influencier